People with high confidence take criticism constructively, take calculated risks with less fear, back themselves in a discussion, learn from their mistakes, can take a compliment, have a positive outlook on life and do what they think is right despite the opinions of others.
The most important factor in increasing your confidence is knowing yourself. If you know who you are (your identity), know what you want (values) and employ your own set of rules to live by (beliefs) you will be certain to have strong levels of confidence. Below are 8 habits of confident people. Give them a go.
1. They look after themselves
Confidence and respect come hand in hand. People with confidence treat themselves well and care for themselves. They eat well, exercise and don’t drink or smoke to excess. They groom and present themselves well. They prioritise sleep.
2. They have their own back
Confident people believe in themselves and their actions. They stick by the decisions they make and if they feel any doubt creeping in they affirm themselves by telling themselves things like “It’s okay, I’ve got this”, as opposed to people who lack faith in themselves and say things like “I’m hopeless”.
3. They have personal boundaries
People with confidence know when to say no. They’re certainly happy to help others but when they don’t have the resources (physically or emotionally) they’re at peace with not being able to lend a hand this time.
4. They set goals
Confident people know what they want and where they’re going. They use visualisation to create their dreams in detail, certain that one day it will be theirs. They don’t let challenges stand in their way of achieving their goals and face them with determination rather than fear.
5. They use failure as a stepping stone
Rather than letting their misfortunes get them down, confident people use their set-backs as an opportunity for learning. They don’t see them as failures but rather a light to make the path towards their goals shine even brighter.
6. They challenge their inner critic
In times of doubt when they are challenged by the fears of the ego, a confident person chooses to stand strong and not get swept away in the emotion. They hear their inner critic and respect its opinion, but they then make a reasonable decision based on a broader field of information.
7. They don’t compare themselves to others
People with confidence realise that everyone is on their own path, has their own story, their own skills and own weaknesses. Everyone is equal. And therefore, they choose not to compare themselves with others but rather to a previous version of themselves or to a future benchmark of themselves which they’re aiming to become.
8. They help others
Because confident people have no need to judge others and see them as equals, they have a tendency towards helping others, particularly within a team or community where the entire group benefits from any assistance provided.
Once you start to make headway with the internal aspects of self-confidence, it might be time to practise your social confidence by getting involved in networking or sports groups and accepting more social invitations. So, what are some practical steps to becoming more outgoing? Making the plan or accepting the invitation is the easy part. But what happens next?
- Keep reminding yourself of the reasonsyou’ve chosen to go and the things you are able to contribute to the event. This will make you feel worthy of being there.
- Always connect with the hostand make sure you thank them for the invitation.
- Make a huge effort to remember and use people’s names.
- Look people in the eye and smileoften.
- During an event, become aware that there are other people in the room who are also feeling a bit isolated and try to connect with them, not by actually sharing your discomfort, but just by reaching outto them and striking up a conversation. That way you’re helping others too.
- Complimenting peopleis a really good way to connect as well, so long as it’s honest. I used to think that talking about myself made me seem self-absorbed but sharing things about your life with others actually communicates to them that you’re comfortable with your life and are willing to connect, it gives them something to relate to, just so long as you’re not being arrogant or complaining all the time.
- And if you still don’t feel confident, just fake it till you make it! It may seem misleading but soon, social situations will become more comfortable simply due to familiarity and repetition, so before long you’ll be feeling right at home and you’ll come across that way too.
Things to give thought to this week:
· If you haven’t already done it, write some health goals and just make one change at a time if that’s all you can manage and be okay with that
· Begin to visualise some of your goals
· Who do you need to say no to more often?
· If things don’t go so well for you, ask yourself what you can learn and how you can do things differently in the future
· Become aware of the thoughts you’re having. When you hear that inner critic pop up, put it in its place and back yourself
· Make an effort to help people more
· Commit to a social outing and practice your socialising skills