What are my goals in life? How do I find my personal passion? And how do I know if I’m passionate about something?
Every summer when I was young we’d take a family holiday to the Gold Coast to be with my dad’s family. As I reflect on those holidays I recall three things: jigsaw puzzles that we poked along at over our time there, watching Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi battle it out in the Australian Open and sitting down as a family to write our new year’s resolutions. I really enjoyed reflecting on last year’s goals and seeing how I’d measured up and then imagining what the year ahead might have in store. I have always been grateful to my dad for instilling this habit in me. Knowing what I know now though about goal settings, there’s a few ways we could have made the task even more effective. In particular, setting strategies to achieve the goals and reviewing them more often that once a year.
Why are goals so important? What is it that drives us to seek more? As Tony Robbins says, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying”. As humans we seek constantly to be learning and evolving and it’s our goals that guide us through this process. If you haven’t yet read last week’s post on “How to Understand Yourself Better” I recommend you read it here, as we explored how your beliefs and values can lead you to developing your goals. Usually we actually know what our goals are, but our fears, insecurities and beliefs cloud our passion. It’s rare for someone to find a dream mid-life completely out of the blue that doesn’t somehow have a link to their past.
Here’s a few questions that might ignite something in you and narrow down the options. Put your fear and doubt aside (we’ll deal with them later):
> What do I really enjoy doing?
> What do other people tell me I’m good at?
> What was I always drawn to as a child?
> What sort of books can I read easily and effortlessly without getting bored?
> If money weren’t an issue, what would I choose to spend my time doing?
> Is there a message I have to share with the world?
> Is there a skill I have that needs exercising?
> What do I hate doing?
> Who do I admire for what they do?
> What problems do I have that I want to overcome? And how would I prefer the situation to be? (This is the goal)
> What are my values and how can I honour them?
> How can I practise what I preach in life?
> What’s prevented me from pursuing my dreams in the past? (It may be a goal in itself to overcome these hurdles)
What might also help is meditating on it. Just sit in a quiet place, clear your mind and ask it for answers. You may have to practise this a few times to get a clear message but if you’re asking yourself these questions, your meditations may give your mind a chance to respond.
Once you have established a few goals, it’s really important to write them down. You have a 42% higher chance of achieving your goals if you write them down and review them regularly.
A great acronym to follow when writing goals is STREAMS. I like using this acronym because it induces concepts of flowing, which is a great start to getting some action into the goals. This stands for Specific, within a givenTimeframe, Realistic, associated Emotional state, Attainable, Measurable andStrategy.
1. Specific– You must state precisely what it is you want to achieve, no vague language here please.
2. Timeframe– Without an end date, you fail to set limits and might as well plan to achieve it sometime before you die.
3. Realistic– You must feel that you are in fact able to reach this goal.
4. Emotional State– Given that goals are driven so strongly by emotions, it is vital that when we draw up a goal, we include the emotional state we wish to experience. After all, it’s not really the new car you want, it’s the feeling that having the new car provokes in you. This is the reason that’s driving the goal.
5. Attainable– The goal must be something that you alone are able to control and influence.
6. Measurable– How will you know once you’ve achieved the goal? What evidence will you find?
7. Strategy – There’s no use writing a goal unless you’re prepared to take action. The strategies tend to evolve the closer you get to the goal, but it’s a good idea to jot out a rough plan. Also, never leave writing a goal without taking one step towards its attainment.
Goals must always be written in present tense as if they’ve already been achieved. This brings the goal into reality, rather than having you constantly moving towards it but never reaching it. They must also be stated positively, so you are moving towards the goal, rather than simply away from the problem. And don’t forget – stay focused! Review your goals regularly and you will naturally be drawn towards their attainment.
Things to give thought to this week:
Jot down a few possible goals and try them on for size to see if they really juice you, then ask yourself:
· How will the attainment of the goal affect other areas of your life?
· What has prevented me from achieving this goal in the past? (It could be fear, certain beliefs, habits, etc.)
· What new beliefs would support the goal?
· What values would support the goal?
· What would I have to give up in order to achieve the goal? Am I willing to make the sacrifice?
· What new focus do you need to take on in order to ensure your success?
· Have you been seeing the non-achievement of your goals as failures? By seeing it instead as feedback, what can you learn by your lack of achievement thus far? What can you now do differently?
· Use the STREAMS acronym to create a dynamic goal for yourself.