A good partnership can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life. And a bad one has the potential to cause long term issues. So how can you attract a partner that’s right for you? The best place to start is with the end in mind. What does your ideal relationship look like? Here’s some things to think about when creating the right relationship for you:
1. Describe your perfect match. What sort of work do they do. What are their values? What are their hobbies? What do they believe in? What are their passions? How do they treat kids? How are they around your parents? What past experiences have they had in their life? With what attitude do they face challenging experiences? What are their life goals? What do they hope to achieve in their retirement?
2. Not only is it important to give thought to the sort of person you want to be with. You must also think about the sort of person you want to bewithin the relationship. Your partner will bring out various aspects of yourself. You probably want to make sure it’s the good bits and not the bad bits! What parts of yourself do you want your partner to love and adore, encourage and support?
3. Then there’s the relationship itself. What does a positive fulfilling relationship look like to you?
4. You will need to give thought to your needs. This is where it’s important to know yourself first before entering into a relationship. If you know what your needs are and find that they’re not being satisfied, you can address it early on, no harm done. On the other hand, if you don’t know what your needs are and issues surface within the relationship, by the time you figure out what’s going on, it may be too late.
5. Another thing you’ll need to understand before you find a partner is your values, that is, the emotions you wish to experience often in life. If you and your partner have different values, you might struggle to find activities that you can do together that allow you each to experience your desires.
6. Your big life goals must align too, such as marriage or kids and where you want to live, what you might do in your retirement. If you know all of this about yourself prior to meeting your partner you’ll know from very early on whether they’re the right fit for you or not.
7. Another aspect to be aware of is that of your past. What experiences have you had that may make you inclined to be drawn to certain people. You may be seeking a man similar to your father, or a woman like your mum. How have past relationships shaped you? Is the mark they’ve left on you going to lead you to the right partner for you, or send you into the brambles?
8. Spend some time visualising your relationship. See the way you meet each other, feel the energy between you. See your partner surprise you on your birthday, how you are together cooking dinner, spending quality time together at the weekend. Even go so far as to visualise an argument and how it’s resolved. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings.
9. Now that you know what your partner looks like, what you look like within the relationship, and what the actual relationship looks like, the final thing to think about is “what sort of person is the person I want to attract, attracted to?” In other words, start being the ideal person for your ideal partner. What changes will you need to make? For example, if your personal esteem is lacking, there’s a good chance you’re looking for someone who’s highly outgoing, hoping that their confidence will rub off on you. But if you’re honest you’ll realise that confident people are drawn to other confident people. So, think about becoming that.
Things to give thought to this week:
· Grab a notebook. Take the list above and answer the questions one by one. You’ll be surprised what you learn about yourself.
· Make a list of the things you need to change about yourself in order to attract your ideal partner and design strategies to make these changes a reality. You may even decide to enlist the assistance of a professional to overcome some deep-rooted emotional habits in order to create the best possible version of you.
· Look at your notebook often, because what you focus on becomes your reality.
· As you drift off to sleep at night, do some visualisations of you with your beloved.