Aristotle said: “Give me the boy until he’s 7 and I’ll show you then man!”
The reason it’s so important to be a good role model for your children is because they learn everythingfrom you! That might be an exaggeration but only just. They are little sponges, especially from the womb to age 7 and if you are their primary care giver, most of what they take in will be from you. During this period, they are creating neural pathways in the brain of how the world works and how they’re supposed to work within the world. The more often they’re used, the stronger these pathways become. Because they’re around you more than anyone else, they create and strengthen the pathways that you have inspired. After the age of 7, the production of new pathways slows down, so the ones that are there are going to have a pretty tight hold on them throughout the rest of their lives. They can most certainly be changed, but it’s pretty hard work!
So how do we make sure we’re being a good role model? Basically, we have to be who we want them to be. I encourage you to take the time to sit down and write a list of the things about you that you don’t want your kids to copy. Don’t just list your bad habits like your diet, drinking less, being less angry or swearing less. Think of every aspect of your life.
Here’s some categories that might get you thinking:
Health– including diet, exercise and sleep patterns
Emotional Wellbeing– how you deal with your big emotions, such as fear, anger and sadness
Beliefs– about the world (including the possibilities the world holds for you, as well as negative attitudes such as politics and racism) and yourself (what you are capable of achieving as an individual)
Values– what’s important to you and how you choose to experience it
Time - How you choose to spend your time and the people you spend it with
Work Ethic– and how you go about attaining goals and meeting milestones
Relationships with Others– what you’re willing to do for others, how you speak to them and treat them, how you co-operate in a community and what your boundaries are
Give yourself some time to make the changes, perhaps just implement one at a time. And if you find yourself struggling just remind yourself why you’re doing it, and this should get you back on track. If it doesn’t, perhaps you have some unresolved stresses residing within your unconscious. If this is the case, you may choose to seek professional help.
Things to give thought to this week:
· Sit down with a notebook and go through the list above asking yourself, who do I want my child to be and how can I demonstrate to them how to be that person?
Be patient with yourself and start to implement some of these changes